Stir of emotions swept through me
Currents of despair wash over me
Sadness like a tornado
tearing everything
in its path
For I,
am not able to survive through this wave
I clasped your hand tightly,
unwanting to let you leave so early
Your palm in mine,
so frail,
so small,
so cold
Your eyes,
staring ahead,
not able to look at me once,
not able to take a second blink
Your mouth,
hanging open
Your face,
cringed up,
all wrinkled up,
leaving lines over your smooth complexion
Your body,
as weak as it can be,
as still as it can ever be
I grasped you tightly,
repeatedly calling out your name.
No sign of recognition appeared on your face.
But wait
There it is
One small tear,
crept out of your eye
I will never ever forget you
I will never ever forget the way you looked at me
I will never ever forget the times we shared together
I will never ever forget how you laugh
I will never ever forget how miserable you look
You hand clasped in mine,
mine in yours
Just then,
a steady beep echoed across the room.
Thats's when I know you are gone forever.

I was mesmerised by your features.
I was drawn deep into your past.
I was falling into the clutches of your warm body.
I was prevented by certain issues,
yet I cannot resist this temptation of mine.
I need to be with you,
to be near you.
Your dark sensationalistic voice
Your postures
Your attitude
Your passion for something you really yearn for
Your face when it crooks up into a grin
Your determined face when you are postively driven forward
Your buried expression when you keep something inside
Your miserable look when you are suffering from something.
Everything about you is just so compelling.
I can't help but draw myself nearer to you.
Every night I wonder how it would feel like to be in your steady arms,
feeling that slow steady beat of your heart.
Your warmth radiates around me,
keeping me warm from the cold that surrounds us.
Your black locks flying around wildly when the wind blows,
your hair sweeped away when I brush it aside
to stare at your dark deep brown eyes.
The intensity between us cannot be broken
The connection we have will always remain
Its like a bond that cannot be broken,
the electricity flowing past just by the stare of your eyes,
gazing deeply into mine.
I think I've fallen in love with you.

You asked me
Do you feel neglected?
Do you feel unwanted?
Do you feel sad?
Do you feel contented?
I wanted to follow my heart,
for once let my heart take me away to the greatest of heights.
But gazing upon the reflection in your eyes,
I didn't want to let myself out.
Seeing that hint of pain and agony in you,
struggling to
make myself,
make yourself,
make everyone
have the best of everything.
Yet again,
I let my mind make that decision again.
I just want to avoid the conflicts in life,
I just want to enjoy the peace that I currently have.
For fear of making everyone around me suffer,
for fear of making everyone around me try their best
to appease me.
I detest walking into those steps once more.
I detest seeing people around me shed unwanted tears.
I detest entertaining disputes among yourselves.
Please put an end to all these unwanted discussions.
Sacrafice is not what I want to see.
Neither is it the reverse of the past.
Neither is it a happy ending.
We all know happy endings are reserved for fairytales.
All I want to see is
a happy smile upon your radiant faces
and not a upside frown and worn out faces.
Is that so much to ask for??
We can just go back to our original lives.
With no despair and worries.

Its the first time.
The very first I looked at you.
I expritcly took chances and look into you.
You have rocked me to the core.
You have bewitched me body and soul.
Coming here has always been a big mistake.
But yet,
my heart tells me differently.
These past months of torture brought me to realise that
without you,
life is meaningless.
I have been nonsensical.
I have been obnoxious.
You changed me completely,
my way of thoughts,
my mind,
my harden-heart.
I was wrong about you,
the way you have been wrong about me.
Just say the word,
I'll be right by your side forever.
Never parting with you.
If your feelings have changed since from the beginning,
I'll do whatever it takes to be by your side.
If your feelings remains,
i will silence myself,
and you would not have the trouble of me
bothering you again.
These past months where
you unconsciously have been tormenting me,
it will all go away once you accept my word.
Save me from myself,
save me from the lonliness I have been experiencing
since forever...

I thought it was all over.
Nothing has happened between us.
But once I let down my guard,
when I took you in,
I started to feel for you.
Your feelings surged through my veins,
coarsing through my very veins.
I should have never looked your way.
Now you are star,
the star that I would always look upon every once in a fortnight.
Your luminous glow luminates my world,
bringing laughter and tears to me.
How I wish to risk one look at you
How I wish to be able to look up to you
How I wish to be as confident as you
How I wish to be as free as you
You being my light in my gloomy world,
how fantastic it would be to walk beside you.
However magnificent you are,
I cannot risk myself to take another look.
I should not have glance your way.
I should not have opened up to you.
I should not have taken sympathy on you.
I should have never felt dependent on you.
But I cannot bear to let you go.
I'm like giving up a part of me
to ease my pains,
yet I still feel so empty inside.
Like a lifeless corpse I was,
completely at loss I was.
You've shown me so much,
you have shown me that its the littlest things
that makes us contented.
I cannot bear to lose you forever.
I'm just not ready to give you up.
I'm just not ready to bid farewell to you forever.

All I've ever wanted is for someone to
take me away to a better place.
All I've ever wanted is someone to
bring me away from the trauma.
All I've ever wanted is to
find a secret place where I get to reside in peace.
All I've ever wanted is someone who
can understand me for who I am and
what I'm not,
someone who appreciates what I do and
fully supports my actions and achievements.
I am fully aware that what you've done
is all for the goodness deticated to me.
I am fully aware that you think
you know what is suitable for me and what's not.
I am aware that you would not want me to
walk in your footsteps of disaster,
that I would not land up in the same situation you're in.
All I want you is to have faith in me,
let me make my decisions.
All I want you is to have trust in me,
let me grieve for my mistakes in life and blame no one.
All I want you to let me take charge of my life,
let me be the one holding onto the steering wheel
guiding myself to my correct coarse,
let me take full responsiblitily of my actions.
You are my guidance,
my map,
my eyes to the outside world,
my ally to lean on when I break down,
my listening ear when I need to pour out troubles,
my star to gaze upon as a role model.
Without you,
I don't think I'll be able to make it this far.
Without you,
I'll be lost in this vast ocean.
Without you,
I'll have no one to confide to when it all ends.
You are my compass directing me to safety,
without you,
I'll be a lost ship floating through vast waters in search
of nothing but blank hopes and dreams.

The world is always divided into two classes.
the rich;
the poor.
the noble;
the average;
the free wanderers;
the handcuffed dragged down souls;
brave souls;
cowardly souls;
fun-sized people;
depressed-mindless ghouls;
clever-witty geniuses;
dumb-slow average;
saviors;
goners;
where does that leave me in this picture?
Its either you get it or you don't.
Whatever I do its all in my hands.
Its all in the creation and abolmination hands and mind.
We take what we need and leave what we don't.
why can't humanity learn to be unselfish and kind?
When will we ever stop the destruction of our own kind?
It takes one of us to realise what we have been doing all along.
It takes the whole world to realise our mistakes
by making the first move to ultimate greatness.
It takes the will and power to overcome our weaknesses.
Never will I fall
not now
not tomorrow
not ever

Isn't it such a good feeling to be able
to cast out the negative thoughts?
Then I would be living in a world full of happiness,
free of troubles,
free of stress.
But nothing is ever built to last,
in matter of seconds
the world comes crashing down.
My fate walks on broken glass.
It pains to continue this pelirious trek.
One minute detail can bring me down,
one enormous detail can crush me to pieces.
You come crashing down into my little world,
wiping out every single beautiful memory I kept.
Instead of daffodills and butterflies,
it became black roses and fireflies.
Dark fills up the skies and
black birds soar high in the clouds,
black roses grow over the fields.
Dead leaves drift past the pathway,
fireflies lit up the plain looking fields.
Everything all black,
seems like its the latest trend.
When will it ever stop??