Saturday, February 6, 2010

I have been gullible in the past,
I let things slip my mind a lot.
I forgive and forget too easily.
But those are the traits you will never see
when the next few years come and go by.
I picture myself being able to accept you for who you are,
your flaws and everything.
Nevertheless,
I will always get pushed up against the wall one way or another.
I will never understand either part of you.
One would be the acting-out-of-kindness person,
trying to show me sympathy that you would always be there to catch me if i fall.
Another would be the unreasonable devil I see nowadays.
Storming in and out,
demanding and relinquishing my happiness.
I stayed on,
I don't know how much I'll be able to take.
My perserverance is wearing down by the second,
and there would be no second replacement.
I cannot expect any kindred soul to lift me out of my sorrows,
to save me from this torment.
I will always have to pick myself up,
and move on.
Literally this time,
I don't know how far I'll be able to go without support....

~ { 12:37 AM }
reflections of you and me;

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Its time that we show our cards.
We have always been,
and always will be,
together as one.
Regardless of distance and conflicts,
we managed to perservere on till today.
Nevertheless,
there will be times when there is that eerie transaction between us.
Typically those when we past each other in the corridors,
a sharp turn of our heads,
we complete the process of ignorance.
A hint of acknowledgement in our eyes,
but we chose to ignore it and continue with our lives.
Everything between us is making me go insane.
I cannot even remember the last time we ever spoken to each other.
We just need that chance to come upon us again.
That will be when we regain back our true selves.
Till then I am hopeless at this stage.
Sentences hang adrift in the air between us.
We would not be able to complete them if time ticks by.
Secrets we shared,
conflicts we threw at each other,
those were not insignificant.
I can't stand the everlasting wrath of silence between us.
It has been in my existence since forever.
Be the first to break it for me.

~ { 9:59 PM }
reflections of you and me;

Sunday, January 24, 2010

I try to move on without you.
Nevertheless,
you always manage to keep pace with me.
No matter how I tried to toss you aside,
you play me around like a puppet.
In this beautiful world i live in,
in that extravagant world you live in,
differs greatly from mine.
All because of you,
my heart has gone numb.
No salvation
No dependence on anyone.
No one to really understand the anguish i'm in.
No one to heal my wounds inflicted from you.
Even though that happens,
I was willing to risk my mental strength to stride alongside with you.
Still,
you threw cold water on my face.
Shield yourself in,
keeping everything within you.
All your fustrations kept secret,
all the pain hugging closely in you.
Patience is not of the essence now.
You boil the anger inside of me,
I detest myself for having such an emotion for you.
Why am I wasting my numb feelings for you?
All i want in return is your understanding.
What I got is your ignorance.

~ { 10:38 PM }
reflections of you and me;

Saturday, January 23, 2010

I can't help it if you stare at me.
I am hopeless when I stare into those restless eyes of yours.
I am a sinner when it comes to such matters.
My heart has gone numb because of you,
hence here I am begging you to go easy on me.
Go easy on my emotions.
You throw me around like a stone,
something like a mere pebble in your warm hands.
The scars run so deep,
I just need time to regain back my strength.
Before you want to wreck my life,
at least try to have a little patience,
let my heart heal from its previous wreck.
This heart is unable to survive another dolor.
You can't extinguish this flame out of me,
you crush my only salvation in the world,
my salvation is also my destroyer.
Who is the real you??

~ { 8:13 PM }
reflections of you and me;

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Living a life that I am not fit to be is such a torture.
Living two lives in a week depletes my mental strength.
Pressing the fast-forward button in my life,
you will probably see the same old plain girl living her life.
Pressing the go back button in my life,
you will once again see the girl you knew walking the same path of road.
Life has its ultimatiums and limits.
Emotions get in the way and somehow I find myself losing
the control I always keep inside of me.
Desperately trying to regain my composure to look strong
and capable of going through the tides once again.
Needless to say,
hiding my face under a mask is so passe.
I searched for new ways to hide and take cover,
still that postion is still behind you.
The thread I would want to loosen every single day
keeps pulling against me.
Occasionally having a few laughs may seem out of habit.
Gradually it loses its effect or power and I drift off aimlessly again.
One would say to sew the coat with the cloth given.
Everything in my possession is good enough,
that I can be contented with what I have.
Changing it for the better perhaps might change my attitude.
As paradoxical it may be,
my inner self tells me it has always been true.

~ { 11:24 PM }
reflections of you and me;

Monday, January 18, 2010

Countless reminders.
Uncountable wounds.
Unforgettable times.
Desperate attempts.
I've sworn to myself that I would not ever
fall into this sinister little lie.
I can't stop myself from getting into heaps of trouble.
Despite countless swears,
I still find myself stuck in the same pathetic situation that
I was always in from day one.
How nice it would be to gladly ask someone
to give a wake-up call on my face.
You have fulfilled my fantasies,
what about my reality?
I just can't seem to get your picture out of my head,
it was like a broken fragment of my memory,
waiting to be fixed by a average craftsman.
You rekindled the fire within me,
then extinguish it with a soft breeze of your grand exit.
What more can I ask from you?
Gradually you are nothing more than a faded memory,
a memory that will never ever be brought up.
Steeling myself for these emotional turmoils are not my thing.

~ { 10:46 PM }
reflections of you and me;

Friday, January 15, 2010

You vanished from my sight from the moment you appear.
You took flight the minute the weather clears.
You dashed off the second when the time comes.
Likewise,
today is such a typical example.
I kept these silly prescriptions in my head that
you would walk away,
leaving me cold hard and bitter.
Nonetheless you have expressed them marvelously today.
Unforunately,
this time,
you didn't turn your back like you did once before.
Such a mistake that I would hold myself accountable
if such a serious matter goes into a total disaster.
As much as I try to,
I can't seem to forget the times we had.
As much as I try to avoid,
you seem to be bouncing back.
Once again,
I don't understand your motive of your search for me.
I'm unable to track down the evidence as to why you keep coming back.
As I'll ever be,
I always let time take me along.
Grasping every chance and breath I have to hold onto that last shimmer of hope

~ { 10:47 PM }
reflections of you and me;

~`♥ THE GIRL

~`♥ SINISTER LITTLE LIES

~`♥ MUTTERS

~`♥ LEAVE ME BE

~`♥ LOOKING BACK

~`♥ CrEdiTs