I’m drifting

Drifting along the calm pristine waters of the ocean

I’m floating

Floating among the clouds

Never wanting to fall back into Earth

I was myself till something shot me out of the sky

I plummeted down

Straight into the murky depths of reality

You crash landed into my dream

Leaving no room for illusions in my quiet life I wanted

Not able to dream for I know they will always be interrupted by your presence

I left myself undefended against reality since my steel walls of illusions disintegrated since your fall

Tell me how am I supposed to carry on with my life when you chained me?

Not only that

Your little charade has left me broken

My soul felt like it was ripped out from its heart

As dramatic as it may sound

You have shattered my soul into pieces that cannot be revived

Picture perfect memories that were once beautiful

Turned into ashes at the touch of fire…

Reminiscing

Desire to get over

Free from troubles and yearns

Stumbling upon your frequent spots

Trigger lots of unwanted memories into my mind

The bittersweet times,

Regardless the fun I fondly missed and yearn for

I willed myself not to bring those times rolling back into my weak mind

How I want to surrender to this uphill battle,

I want to overcome this challenge but another part of me prevents me from reaching my undesirable goal

Unfortunately

Almost everything I see leaves a trail of your scent

How am I supposed to believe that nothing will change?

Somehow change is always ongoing

And nothing can stop it

I simply cannot place my trust in everything

I don’t want to end up falling apart when the chapter ends

I don’t want to lose my last control I have over myself

I don’t want to give in to temptation

When all else fails,

I don’t want tears and misery at the end of the road

My future is all misty now

And you can take it all now

But you can never take yesterday

All the feelings that were bottled up will overflow one day

And when that day comes I’m not going to be there to empty its contents

Someone told me to take caution when it comes to love

Did I really follow?

You

Everything about you

You are the sound of a storm brewing

The “enchanting” words of encouragement simply took me by surprise

I assumed you would understand

I assumed you would know how much it hurts

Assumptions completely differ from your true colours

Don’t feign surprise or dismiss my thoughts as mere words

You have not realized how deep your dagger has stabbed my wound

You did not know how menacing your words were,

How they dripped like poison off a lilac flower

How they sound so sickening and detesting at the same time

Don’t laugh them off as if they are your joke of the day

How I want to wipe that evil, malicious grin off your face.

Especially when it comes around and hits you hard on your face

I believe

I believe that I would be able to withstand any force that rocks me to the core

I believe that I would be able to live “monotonously”,

Nothing will be able to upset the momentum I have set for myself

I believe that I would be able to survive those harsh winds when they sweep me off my feet

Most importantly,

I believe that I would be able to live my dreadful life without your presence.

But now

Everything seems to be contradicting everything I once believed in.

You brought light into the darkest of caves

Sending pleasures of laughter and joy with just your actions

Your presence enchants me day by day

And I swear I can never grow weary of it

Your glow outshines everything in this world…

I once believed in independence

Is that belief a reality when you are not here beside me?

Temptations

Lures victims into his cold awaiting embrace

Helpless souls get sucked into the vortex with no means of escape

This would have never happen if you weren’t here in the first place.

Your mysterious being entrap me in your gaze

Your eyes locked into mine,

Staring deeply into those black whirlpools of death.

Those irises are the darkest caves that attract the attention of wanderers into the clasp of certain doom.

Am I the only one to see you for who you are?

What you are not?

Your absence is not of the essence

I do not require your presence to make me feel warm and secure.

I knew it from the start.

That I should not have cast my eyes into those seductive black pools.

As seducing as it may be,

I do not wish to be tempted by you any further.

You will just leave me burning in the end

I am nothing but a mere addition to your collection.

Another soul waiting to be broken.